You are probably asking yourself about the title of this blog post today. Modern Love? What in the penguin tails does modern love have to do with genealogy and history? Okay, nothing. You are right. In today's modern world we see and hear all sorts of ways that love should manifest. From flowers and candy, to new houses, cars and jewelry. Love songs tell us about the man worshiping the ground we walk on, moving heaven and earth to make us feel beautiful and loved. (Literally after his truck broke down, lost his dog on the way to go fishing all day...) Movies cast us a princesses who always end up with the man of our dreams. What would our ancestors say love really is? How would they feel about what is being portrayed in our modern world? After years of research, I have seen love stories emerge in the details of their lives and it doesn't look anything like what I picture today. Sure there were some romantic gestures made and I would guess there were times where it felt like the world kept spinning around them as they gazed deep into their lover's eyes. (I have a vivid imagination, don't hate.) However, I have also seen the everyday sacrifices that men and women made for each other in the days way before picture movies. I use a story in just about every example when I talk about family history research that is fascinating to me, and still relatively unsolved. The story of my 2x great grandfather's mother and father. His father went ahead (it seems) to a new land and prospected for a new home that they could settle. He left behind his loving wife and children. The work must have been challenging, though shortly after he sends for them. She loads up a wagon with whatever belongings they could possibly carry with them and heads off on a several hundred mile trip into the unknown. I have moved my children a few times with little to no help hundreds of miles as a single mom. Let me just say, I felt her pain. It is no easy chore. Moving makes people restless, angry, discouraged, frustrated and relatively crazy. (I don't mean me of course. I was a pleasant angel. heh)
The love they must have had for each other and their children was likely immense back in those times. It was hard work. Thankless work and often exhausting and painful work. They did what they had to in order to stay alive and occasionally thrive. Their thirst for a good life for themselves and their children probably drove them to these far away places. That's what real modern love should look like. That single mom uprooting her children to search for a better way. That father getting up day after day and going to work at a place he may not actually enjoy just to be able to say he did the best he could for them. When his truck breaks down and his dog is lost, it's his wife who comes to his rescue bringing the parts to him, picking up the dog on the way and making sure he had more food to continue fishing all weekend. It's not the flowers and jewelry that make the love better. It's fighting through the difficult times together. I think our ancestors would not know what to do with our modern love.
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AuthorMichele is an obsessed mother of 4 residing in North Alabama. Hobbies include long walks in the woods, on the beach and in strange cemeteries and libraries. Genealogy friends need only apply. Categories
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